Some days it feels like every diaper I change has poop (just got real
in here). One after the other. And it seems like those days fall on
days when nothing seems to be going my way. I chipped a tooth last
night and that stresses me out incredibly, things are still inconsistent
with Joe's job, some bills are still behind, the check engine light is
still on in the car. The list cold go on and on if I let it. It would
be really easy to let it. Really easy, I just thought of three more
things I could add. But that's not what I should, or want, to focus
on. If I focus on what's bad or not going my way, my heart turns toward
that, toward unthankfulness. Closer to bitterness and a victim
mentality. I can't focus on the lack. It's just a downward spiral that
drags me and my family down. My family is brought down because I
control the spiritual atmosphere of the house. I control it. Not the
circumstances.
So, instead of worrying and stressing I
take 10 minutes and actually have quiet time with some bible reading. I
take the extra time to journal my thoughts on the passage I just read.
I enjoy my cup of coffee. I relish in the sight of my boys loving and
wrestling each other. I'm thankful for the morning talks I get with my
mom. I look forward to ladies night tonight at our new church that I
love!
And within that short time my heart has turned
back to where I want it. It's not that I'm ignoring that first list,
but I'm now in a mindset that I cant deal with it. One at a time
because I can't take on everything at once. Sometimes it's easy to
focus on the good stuff, sometimes it's a fight. But it is always worth
it.
Especially since there is a good chance that next diaper I change is going to have poop in it. :)
