Sharing my heart

I'm just going to jump back into blogging.  No intro.  Yes this is technically a new blog, but if you are reading this you either love me enough to know a little of what's going on in my life or read my other blog.

Here's the quick update.  Zeke is now 9 months old and is almost walking now!  And tomorrow I will be 24 weeks pregnant!  This pregnancy seems to b going by so much faster, probably as my mom noted because I'm chasing Zeke around.

Now to jump into the heart of what I wanted to post.

Joe and I are involved in a marriage class/group at our church called Love After Marriage (LAM).  The class started last September.  We thought "what better time to actively build and work on our marriage than when we are hitting the first big change in our relationship with having a new baby?"  It has been amazing.  And hard.  Learning how to really communicate.  How to work through conflict.  Stuff like that.

This past week during class both Joe and I realized that we weren't connecting.  Really at all.  Oh, we talked to each other and tried to spend time together (not the easiest thing to do right now with a baby, one on the way and Joe going to school and work)  But we haven't been sharing or seeking after each other's heart.  So we have been actively working on that this week.

So I shared something with my husband today that I've been thinking stressing about.
There are moments I'm completely terrified to have 2 kids.
Especially so close together.

I'm fairly certain this is probably pretty normal.  But I still wonder if I can do it.  I mean, I know I CAN do it, but I wonder if I can do it successfully.  Somedays I feel I'm barely making it as a mom with just one, how will I manage raising 2???

My husband was rather surprise at this thought stress.  He had no idea I was feeling that way.  He didn't have any answers for me, but just sharing my heart helped.  I still wonder if I'll make it, but I'm now working on not stressing over it.

There is no real conclusion for this post, except for the fact that in sharing my thoughts.... ok stresses, I feel a bit better and it's easier to release, even if I don't have any answers.