So Jasper Legend was born on 6/20 at 6:01pm (PST) He is 8lbs 1oz and 21 inches long.

My water broke on Sunday afternoon, and we headed to the hospital. I was not having strong or consistent contractions, but I was GBS positive so I needed to go right away. My midwife said that if things didn't pick up we would need to do something in the morning.  Things didn't pick up, but I did get to sleep! Much better than Zeke's delivery.  So I had to go on pitocin.  That was really scary for me because of Zeke's birth (posted as an earlier post).  I actually "started" labor around 11.  Our goal was to get me well into active labor, turn off the pitocin and see if my body would do what it's supposed to, then get into the birthing tub.  My hope was to have a natural/drug free birth, but I knew the pitocin might make that difficult for me. 

Things did progress and they turned off the pitocin and I kept having strong, consistent contractions!  But I was still in so much pain I wasn't sure if I would make it without any pain relief.
I got into the water and it wasn't helping.  Actually, it almost felt worse than when I had been standing or on the birthing ball.  The nurse checked me about 15 minutes after being in the water and I was at 8cm.  She went to go talk to my midwife, and my midwife wanted to come in check on me herself.  She came in and I said (ok, I'm pretty sure I yelled) that I felt like I needed to push.  1 contraction and pushing and I was almost in hysterics I was hurting so bad (ring of fire anyone?) My midwife got my attention and said "Your baby is right here, you can feel him, reach down you can touch his head"  I did.  I knew he was right there! next contraction he was out! 
I went from 8 cm to him being out in 10 minutes!

It was so hard and awful, and beautiful and amazing at the same time! I'm still fairly tired so if this was jumbled or didn't make sense or you feel like I missed something please tell me!

Zeke meeting Jasper for the first time

Sharing my heart

I'm just going to jump back into blogging.  No intro.  Yes this is technically a new blog, but if you are reading this you either love me enough to know a little of what's going on in my life or read my other blog.

Here's the quick update.  Zeke is now 9 months old and is almost walking now!  And tomorrow I will be 24 weeks pregnant!  This pregnancy seems to b going by so much faster, probably as my mom noted because I'm chasing Zeke around.

Now to jump into the heart of what I wanted to post.

Joe and I are involved in a marriage class/group at our church called Love After Marriage (LAM).  The class started last September.  We thought "what better time to actively build and work on our marriage than when we are hitting the first big change in our relationship with having a new baby?"  It has been amazing.  And hard.  Learning how to really communicate.  How to work through conflict.  Stuff like that.

This past week during class both Joe and I realized that we weren't connecting.  Really at all.  Oh, we talked to each other and tried to spend time together (not the easiest thing to do right now with a baby, one on the way and Joe going to school and work)  But we haven't been sharing or seeking after each other's heart.  So we have been actively working on that this week.

So I shared something with my husband today that I've been thinking stressing about.
There are moments I'm completely terrified to have 2 kids.
Especially so close together.

I'm fairly certain this is probably pretty normal.  But I still wonder if I can do it.  I mean, I know I CAN do it, but I wonder if I can do it successfully.  Somedays I feel I'm barely making it as a mom with just one, how will I manage raising 2???

My husband was rather surprise at this thought stress.  He had no idea I was feeling that way.  He didn't have any answers for me, but just sharing my heart helped.  I still wonder if I'll make it, but I'm now working on not stressing over it.

There is no real conclusion for this post, except for the fact that in sharing my thoughts.... ok stresses, I feel a bit better and it's easier to release, even if I don't have any answers.